How Grief Shows Itself In The Body
When we go through something traumatic, our bodies react. It knows there is a system failure and goes into a “shock” which manifests into a myriad of physical and behavior reactions. Grief is felt everywhere, but we are really only told how we will feel emotionally…sad. The truth is, our whole body is sad, but it shows us in many different ways. When we are aware that our bodies are showing us this, we can be more in-tuned for ourselves as well as for others who are going through grief.
This is especially important to know the signs if you have children who have had a loss because kids don’t always know how to articulate how they are feeling. Here are a list of common reactions, both physical and behavioral to be aware of.
Common Physical Reactions to Stress & Anxiety
Headaches
grinding teeth, jaw tightness or pain
heart palpitations
numb or tingling sensations
dizziness, faintness
feeling smothered
nervous tics
nausea, diarrhea or stomach pains
fatigue
muscle tension
cold, clammy hands
need to urinate frequently
shortness of breath
dry mouth
neck or shoulder pain
menstrual changes
Behavioral & Physical Responses to Grief in Children
crying, weekping
restlessness
withdrawal
lack of concentration
eating changes
physical complaints
avoiding reminders of the loss
hiding grief
accident-proneness
paranormal experiences
hyperactivity
sleep changes
clinginess, avoiding being alone
less productive in school
lack of interest in hobilies
absentmindedness
easily startled
boredom
dreams
regression (bed wetting, thumb sucking)
sexual acting out
risky behaviors
physical weakness
sighing
~Avoid falling in the trap of not recognizing that children who need encouragement to grieve the most are the ones that most often receive it the least.
~Adolescents need to be given permission not to grieve. It is important to let teenagers know that they can take a break from grieving the loss of a parent, sibling, relative, friend, or a pet. Explain to them that this is not a disloyalty to the deceased.
If you or someone you know is experiencing any of these, know that these reactions are a normal part of grief and that some of them may need to be addressed by a professional. It’s always important to trust your gut. If in doubt, get it checked out.
When we are aware that our bodies are showing us this, we can be more in-tuned for ourselves as well as for others who are going through grief.
Source: Daniel Hernandez, M.A. Clinical Thanatologist, LMHC
Taken from his Understanding Childhood Grief Seminar